Oh, you’re 6’5”? Great. Will you marry me?

I just finished reading Marry Him by Lori Gottlieb. In the beginning of the book she laid out her list of qualifications, if you will, that she needed in a future husband. The list went on for pages. Through the process of writing the book, she was able to throw out the list and focus on the things that actually mattered in a relationship.

The book was about expectations. Comparing what women think they want in a future mate to what they actually need. Yes, we all want someone tall, dark, and handsome, but unfortunately there isn’t a six-foot man with a killer grin out there for each of us. Not to mention that his height will not affect how he parents your children.

Now I am not trying to say that I’m innocent of any of this. My friends have sung “blinded by the height” many a times in my presence. And they are right. “Oh, you’re 6’5”? Great. Will you marry me?” ;) Unfortunately, when it comes right down to it, if this gorgeous giant can’t hold an intelligent conversation with me, treat me well, or, even worse, wears Dr. Martens, it’s not going to work out.

I have read a lot of reviews on this book and some of them are quite negative. I think the people that are angry about the truth of this book, are the people who so badly want to find someone that actually doesn’t even exist. My mom said it best: “This book isn’t about settling for someone that’s not “good enough” for you, it’s about picking the right qualities. The qualities that actually matter, like kindness and thoughtfulness, rather than “he’s cute and we both like sushi.”

Relationships are messy. All of them. And at the end of the day, it’s the little things that hold them together. “It’s quietly romantic. He makes her tea. She goes to the doctor appointment with him. They listen to each other’s daily trivia. They put up with each other’s quirks. They’re there for each other.” – Lori Gottlieb, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough.

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