Give Bitterness

Nothing like stumbling into the kitchen, eyes half open, just to realize that there’s no coffee left – talk about a bad start to a perfectly good Friday. So gang, you’re in for a special treat this morning, I’m crabby and not caffeinated. Who’s ready for some more Valentines Day gifts?

Dino Shaped Cupcakes
Nothing says I love you like a sweet treat shaped into something that once terrorized your dreams in Jurassic Park. I’d suggest making red velvet cupcakes, just so it looks like the dino is bleeding all over the plate when your friend dives into it alone. While I usually wouldn’t care what shape my cake came in, especially if it’s red velvet, I don’t think everyone out there is as blind to sweets as I am. Cake tins are $19.25 @
He’s Just Not That Into You
A friend of mine actually received this book a few years ago for Christmas. I will not name any names as not to cause any humiliating embarrassment to this poor girl, but I will say this; I read it. It’s a simple, entertaining, easy read that literally invalidates any excuse a gal could ever give a guy for treating her poorly. In short it’s a gigantic slap in the face. I shamefully chucked the book across the room when I realized the simply truth that outlines the entire book: “If a guy is treating you like he genuinely doesn’t give a shit, then he genuinely doesn’t give a shit.” So while it’s probably a good gift to give to someone in a bad relationship, the best day to give it is probably not Valentines Day. But I haven’t had my coffee yet, so go for it! $11.99 @

Single Distressed Tee
Who doesn’t love a good graphic t? They’re comfy, casual, and super-duper stylish. (Puke). And who doesn’t want one that labels their relationship status for the world to see? Remind your friend this year of how alone she is in this world with a hip t-shirt she can wear out and about just so every straight, single man out there can get the courage to approach her because – great news – they already know she’s available! Now I’m not hating on Urban Outfitters, just this Tee. $24 @

A Kind Hearted Voicemail on February 15th
Last but definitely not least I bring to you my favorite gift this year. Picture this: It’s February 14th at 8pm and you just realize that it’s Valentines Day. Not to worry I have the perfect last minute gift. Don’t bother calling the one you love and try to arrange some late night dinner – just wait until the next day to give ‘em a jingle – I’m sure they’ll think it super romantic to celebrate the next day instead. Don’t worry; they wont pick up your call. As soon as their voicemail hits get ready to give your gift. And remember, don’t apologize. FREE @ ihatevalentinesday(and you).com


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