f a i r y t a l e

I think that happily-ever-afters- like we see in the movies, prince charmings – like we dream about at night, or just fairytales in general, are things we so desperately want to believe in, but know deep down that it’s unrealistic. I think that grasping this concept is very hard and sometimes, it takes many times until you actually grasp it- if you ever do at all. The idea of falling in love with the perfect prince and living happily-ever-after was such a beautiful dream when we were little kids. But eventfully we realize that these things will never come true – that this fairytale love that Hollywood has made us believe will only lead to a disappointing let down. (If we let it).

Romance is not really like the movies. Maybe I’m bitter, or maybe I’ve just learned – but that isn’t what this is about. Love and romance are two way streets. It’s give and take. The problem occurs when one person wants more than the other person wants to give. This is where balance comes into the picture. Balance is important. Expecting more from your significant other than they are able or willing or wanting to give isn’t fair to EITHER of you. But neither is settling. 

Settling. That happens too often. People settle for someone they’re not completely happy with thinking that they can change this person, and shape and mold them into the person they NEED them to be. This causes a constant game of tug-a-war. When one person is pulling for more and the other is pulling back for less it leaves both parties tired and worn out. 

What I’m trying to say is this: Don’t settle. You are amazing and you deserve everything that you need. (If you’re willing to work just as hard to give it back as well.) So if you’re stuck in a relationship where you’re constantly begging for more, get out. If they can’t give you what you need, it doesn’t make them a bad person; it just makes them not for you. 

I believe this: There is someone out there who WANTS to give you everything that you need. But they can’t find you if you’re dating someone who doesn’t.

So even after we grow up and the fairytales of Cinderella and Prince Charming feel further and further away we can’t give up hope. No, your Prince is not going to ride in on a white horse (okay, maybe he will but it’s very unlikely) and you’re not going to ride off into the sunset in the end (again, maybe you will, but probably not) but you have to believe that you will find him. No it’s not going to be like the movies – because we never see anything that happens after the Prince and Princess finally get together in the end. What happens after they ride into the sunset? I bet that they fight about things. I bet that Prince Charming wasn’t thrilled about Gus Gus and all of Cinderella’s other mice friends moving into the castle with them. And I bet some days Cinderella is so fed up with Prince Charming for leaving his towel on the floor again that she could scream. Arguing is going to happen in every relationship. But in a healthy relationship, the arguing is respectful, and that’s the big difference.

Lets be honest here: There’s no way that every single day is perfect. I guess we just have to realize that not every day is a fairytale. But more importantly, we have to remember that SOME days are and will be.  We just have to learn to hold out for those days and learn how to create them for ourselves.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “f a i r y t a l e

  1. jill morgan

    Jackie-you have a major gift. I am stunned and awed by what you wrote. If you are able to live that out in your life, you will save yourself from so much heartache and grief. Where did you come from? Such wisdom! I almost cried when I read that. God has given you such a gift. Oh-how I pray that you will be able to use your talents to bring you joy and glorify God. Everything you said is exactly correct. To say that I am impressed and proud would be lacking in translation..those words aren’t sufficient. You are amazing! love you-jill

  2. aww thanks jill. that means a lot to me!! sometimes it’s hard to remember these things but i’m so much happier and less stressed when i do :)

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