Please, Don’t Wear Dr. Martens… and 9 Other Deal Breakers.

Yesterday, we talked about deal breakers. Everyone has them, the only problem is that most of us have too many. So I have been trying to condense my imaginary list. Some are silly, some are serious, and some, if I really thought about it, probably could be tossed aside. Maybe. Well probably not. Anyway, for the time being, below are a few of the things that I absolutely cannot handle.

Dr. Martens: If they were as stylish as they are heavy, maybe they would have a fighting chance. Are you looking for an intense calf workout?  Okay, then try Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shed. I hear it works wonders. Also, they have absolutely no grip – meaning that yes, you are going to slip and fall on your butt in the winter. But I guess maybe that’s your punishment for wearing them?

Shirtless Facebook Profile Picture: Vanity isn’t a pretty color on anyone. (I’m sure there are exceptions. Like beach volleyball pictures, fishing pictures, wakeboarding pictures ect… But we all know what I’m talking about. Might as well stamp “Self Absorbed” on his forehead and call it a day.)

Camouflage: If you’re hunting – great – by all means please wear it. And bring me some venison when you’re done. But otherwise, why are you wearing it and who are you hiding from? (This goes for any and all accessories, including seat and steering wheel covers.)

He Makes me the Punch Line of Every Joke: I like to laugh. I like when a guy can make me laugh. I don’t however, like being laughed at. I like jokes, but I don’t want to be one.

He’s Rude: Manners are attractive. Use them.

Bad Hygiene: This includes, but is not limited to: dirty beer breath, filthy/long fingernails, and repulsive body odor.

He Can’t Make a Decision: This might be hypocritical seeing as I hate making decisions (on the little things like where to go to dinner or what movie to see) But if we both can’t make a decision, we are going to sit at home, hungry and bored.

He Pouts or Whines More than I Do: Enough said.

He’s Unreliable: I like people whose YES’s mean yes and NO’s mean no.  Meaning if he says he’s going to call, do something, or be somewhere, then he should do that, 100% of the time. Period.

Puka Shell Necklaces: The 90’s called, they want their necklace back. (They probably also want this joke back, but I’m okay with that.)

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Oh, you’re 6’5”? Great. Will you marry me?

I just finished reading Marry Him by Lori Gottlieb. In the beginning of the book she laid out her list of qualifications, if you will, that she needed in a future husband. The list went on for pages. Through the process of writing the book, she was able to throw out the list and focus on the things that actually mattered in a relationship.

The book was about expectations. Comparing what women think they want in a future mate to what they actually need. Yes, we all want someone tall, dark, and handsome, but unfortunately there isn’t a six-foot man with a killer grin out there for each of us. Not to mention that his height will not affect how he parents your children.

Now I am not trying to say that I’m innocent of any of this. My friends have sung “blinded by the height” many a times in my presence. And they are right. “Oh, you’re 6’5”? Great. Will you marry me?” ;) Unfortunately, when it comes right down to it, if this gorgeous giant can’t hold an intelligent conversation with me, treat me well, or, even worse, wears Dr. Martens, it’s not going to work out.

I have read a lot of reviews on this book and some of them are quite negative. I think the people that are angry about the truth of this book, are the people who so badly want to find someone that actually doesn’t even exist. My mom said it best: “This book isn’t about settling for someone that’s not “good enough” for you, it’s about picking the right qualities. The qualities that actually matter, like kindness and thoughtfulness, rather than “he’s cute and we both like sushi.”

Relationships are messy. All of them. And at the end of the day, it’s the little things that hold them together. “It’s quietly romantic. He makes her tea. She goes to the doctor appointment with him. They listen to each other’s daily trivia. They put up with each other’s quirks. They’re there for each other.” – Lori Gottlieb, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough.

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Fabulous Fall Finds, For Less!


Essie Fall 2011

We all know I’m obsessed with painting my nails. When my nails aren’t polished, I basically feel naked. Essie is usually my brand of choice, and this season they definitely delivered. I have 5 of the 6 colors that make up their gorgeous fall line and of course I couldn’t wait until they were available on amazon.com. In other words, yes, I paid full price. My favorite is Lady Like with Case Study coming in a close second – although I’m sure the darker colors will get some serious time in as it cools off a bit. It’s cheaper if you buy them individually, rather than in the 6 pack. $3 to $5 dollars @ amazon.com

Frye Look-A-Likes 

Do these boots look familiar? I’ll give you a hint. It starts with an F, ends with a RYE, and you can also order them French from McDonalds. If you guessed Frye, you guessed right! These look just like Frye boots but for a fraction of the price. I mean you can pay $245 dollars if you want, or you can just order these from Target, save a few bucks, and still look fabulous. Available only online for $59.99 @ target.com

Here Kitty Kitty

These retro-glam shades are so chic I could scream of excitement – and I just might! I’m beyond ready to ditch my summer aviators and trade up for a pair cat eyes! Lucky for me, they are literally available everywhere. Seriously, these are a must have for fall. A little black dress for your face, if you will. Not to mention instant supermodel status ;) Like I said, you can get them everywhere, but these ones from Urban Outfitters won my heart for style and price. Meow. $14 at urbanoutfitters.com 

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These are a few of my [new] favorite things…

{Fruit-Ka-Bobs}
Perfect side for a late summer afternoon BBQ.

{One Day}
Quite possibly the longest courtship in box office history. Quite possibly my favorite movie of the year.

{Newspaper Nails}
how to:  paint nails and let dry. dip nails in alcohol (vodka worked well). press a strip of news paper over entire nail.  finish with top coat.

{Quote}
It’s funny how one small sentence can put things right back into perspective.

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enjoy the people you’re with

A month ago I wrote a post about things that changed my life. Now keep in mind that the post was set in complete sarcasm, I tend to over exaggerate when I get excited (and who doesn’t get excited about chip-free nail polish?)

Now, a month later, I am curled up in my air-conditioned house reflecting on a trip to Peru that actually changed my life. I took away a lot of things from this trip, including new friends, a stronger relationship with Christ, and a serious appreciation for so many things that I have – especially fresh air.

Mira Flores, Peru

Blogging is scary. It’s basically a journal open to the world. And while I can tell that people read it, I have no clue who actually does. (I’m sure the page count is just my Grandma clicking on my blog 20 times to make me feel better about myself. And I thank her for that!)

That said, I will chicken out and just share one take away from the trip. Being disconnected from my world back home! No phone calls, text messages, emails, Facebook notifications, tweets, junk mail, faxes, ect… (Okay so I don’t get faxes, but you get the point).

The experience would have been completely different if people would have had their cell phones. Without them, we were forced to make personal, face-to-face, relationships and it made me realize that I got to know the people I was with, which I had just met, almost better in a weeks time than people back home whom I have known for months.

NEW FRIENDS! Kimmie, Laura, Kristin, Joni, Me, Jenny

My Dad, sister and I tried to recreate Peru last night. We blared our Spanish CD in the car and drove to Lake Harriet to get ice cream. (Okay so maybe a little different from the huge bus cruising around like a crazy person through the narrow streets of Peru. I guess the night would have been more realistic had we let Jenny drive, but I’d prefer not to die of a heart attack before my 25 birthday.) We left our cell phones at home and enjoyed each others company over a double mint cone.

Dad + Jenny @ Lake Harriet

As we were leaving the house my dad said “No cell phones!.”

Immediately I asked, “What if we break down.”

“Well,” He replied, “Then we will make a new friend.”

We got through 10 days in Peru without cell phones – and there we didn’t even speak the language. (Although we sure as heck tried. Jenny accidently told some little girls that she was pretty, instead of telling them that they were, and my dad told me he met someone named “nombre” while “nombre” translates to “name” in English so I seriously doubt that was the persons name.)

So I dare you to try it. When you get home from work leave your cell phone in your bedroom. Hang out with your family or your roommates or your 20 cats if your life is really that depressing ;) At the end of the night check your phone, I’d bet you didn’t miss much that couldn’t wait another day – and I’d bet that you had some pretty awesome conversations with the people you were with.



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This nail polish changed my life.

Now I understand how high maintenance I sound right now, but I am okay with that. (Please refer to a previous blog for my explanation of high maintenance, and why I believe it’s just better to admit it, here.)

“It’s changed my life” has spouted from my yap a ridiculous amount of times lately, but I take those words very seriously. And the following products have, even if in sad little ways, made my life just that much better. And I see it as my responsibility to share.

By Elizabeth Dehn: Face Spray
Literally a glass of water for your face. If I haven’t sprayed you yet, watch out. I’m surprised I haven’t gotten this thing taken away from me. $28 @ beautybits.com

Essie Nail Polish 
It’s not just the polish or the top coat, but the combo of both that makes this brand lust worthy.  Chinchilly is my current obsession (although my color preference changes almost daily). Top it off with Essie Good To Go Top Coat and your nails will be dry in SECONDS. I’m not making this up. I was in the shower literally minutes after my last self mani, and that my friends, is life changing. Did I mention it doesn’t chip for over a week? Keep in mind I’m not elbow deep in the garden or chiseling away at pot or pan (lets be honest, that’s what dishwashers are for) but still it lasts pretty darn long. $7.79 @ target.com

Hibiscus Superflower™​ Tea: Vanilla Apple

I always thought I was a coffee person and that was that. I almost felt like I was somehow betraying Starbucks when I first sipped this tea. It’s caffeine free (crazy, I know) but I can not get through the afternoon without it. It’s the perfect pick me up. Plus it has all sorts of vitamins and healthy things going on in it. So I guess that’s cool too. $10.69 @ lundsandbyerlys.com

Blueberry Yogurt + Mini Frozen Chocolate Chips

I have indebted my life to my step-mom for turning me on to this treat.  Put a yogurt in the freezer for about 20 minutes (just enough to get it creamy and really cold) then add a few (or a handful) of mini chocolate chips. It’s the perfect cure for a late night chocolate craving.

What are your latest obsessions? I’d like to know :)

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Don’t forget the toaster, sweetie.

Friday’s posting seemed to create a lot of laughs, but there was one reply in particular that made me laugh so I hard, I actually cried.

After reading my blog on Friday morning (and after looking high and low for the toaster to make breakfast) my dad took off to Brainerd to meet my step-mom.

They were spending the weekend in a suite at Madden’s Resort. Madden’s is known for it’s unrivaled hospitality and comfort, as well as it’s many great amenities. Anyone in their right mind would think to pack the things pictured below…

Incoming picture message from Dad’s Cell:  “That’s our toaster and Jill’s supplies for a couple of nights in a hotel.”

I’m surprised the microwave was left behind!

 

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Flying with the Morgans

I was first compelled to write this after my dad was charged extra for my step-mom’s over weight suitcase – only to open it and find two, ten pound weights.

We are that family you don’t want to fly with. We need a small army of body guards just to protect the fifteen suitcases the six of us are traveling with. I kid you not, we would bring our entire house and all it’s contents with us for a week trip to Mexico if Delta permitted.

{side note: please note that this is only part of our luggage. Jenny missed the flight to Mexico that year. And that my friends, is a fun little story for another day.}

One full sized electric fan, scrabble, taboo, and yahtzee, six booty body ballet workout tapes, three packages of bagels from Lunds, one regular sized feather pillow, twelve bottles of wine, and obviously, two ten pound dumbbells. (Don’t pretend that these things aren’t on your vacation checklist.)

Now I will be the first one to admit that I have a problem. I know that I have chronic over-packing syndrome. It doesn’t matter if I’m going to Brainerd for the weekend, or Hawaii for ten days, I will fill my suitcase so full, I have to throw my whole body weight into the zipper just to get it closed.

I have found, however, that there are some very odd things that have found to be useful on vacation that you wouldn’t think about packing. And times, when these odd things I packed actually came in handy. Like the time I found my favorite pair of earrings I’d been missing for months inside the BandAid box because I was packing a small first aid kit for my one night camping trip to Rochester.

Have you ever been on vacation and wished you brought something? Like a needle and thread to fix your favorite sundress, or a tweezers to grab that darn sliver from the docks. I want to know! What are some unusual things you pack when you travel?

 

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Shoulda Just Called Him Whiskey

My good friend @kshoutz introduced this song to me. It debuted last night on The CW’s show, One Tree Hill. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do (it’s been on repeat all morning).

Happy Wednesday :)

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9 Things I Wish Someone Would Have Told me Before I Started College…

You know that really tough professor you hear everyone complain about? Take his class.
I did this by mistake my sophomore year and learned more from his class on lay-out and design than I did in all my other advertising classes combined. Sure it was tough, and I worked my butt off, but at the end of the semester I walked away with a ton of new knowledge and a new respect for time management.

Live within walking distance to campus.
I don’t care how crappy the run down four bedroom apartments are near campus – being close to the library and to class in the middle of January means not having to chisel your car out of an ice cube and slide around the barley plowed streets just to go to a class that you don’t want to go to in the first place. Invest in UGG Boots or apply to UCLA. 

Don’t sit in the front row.
Okay so I know everyone else would tell you differently, but spare yourself from 1.) your foreign professors spit and 2.) from being consistently called on to participate. My advice? Sit in the middle. Pay attention. You’ll make friends with the people around you, stay dry, and avoid having to stutter out answers to questions you don’t really even understand.

Enroll in summer classes.
Class periods are long but only last a few weeks. The professors understand that an entire semester full of info jammed into five weeks is a lot, and tough to absorb, so they usually grade easier. Plus they don’t want to be there either so you usually get out early. 

Take a poetry class.
I don’t care if you’re a horrible poet. So am I. But taking a poetry class really makes you analyze words (how they fit together and play off one another) in little groups, which I believe helps writing in general. Plus you’ll meet some unique and cool people who you might not have otherwise and when it’s nice out, your professor might hold class outside on the lawn. Take that accounting majors! 

Mini skirts & low-cut shirts are not okay to wear to class.
I didn’t need anyone to tell me this. I already knew and abided by this rule. I just wish it was general knowledge or at least something included in orientation. 

Supplement a tough course load with an easy online class.
Make friends with someone who is about to graduate that is suffering from severe senoritis. Ask them for a class recommendation. Psychology is usually a good field. Stress Management was the easiest A I earned in college.

Don’t room with a random.
Again, I’m sure everyone has told you differently. But you know those bad made for TV movies where the girl gets suck with a foreign exchange student who barely speaks English, takes phone calls at 3am, and eats cold refried beans straight from the can? Yea, that happened to me. Don’t let it happen to you. 

Get Involved!
I gave this one an explanation mark because I think it is really important. This is something that I didn’t do but wish I did. It looks great on your resume and gives you the chance to meet motivated and inspiring people who are at college for more than cheap tacos and dollar beer.  

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